She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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