Plan B is the new Plan A
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
