well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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