I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
