S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
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She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
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Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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