i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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