What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize