Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
