I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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