i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
