then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
