There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
