you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize