how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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