That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
