its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
