i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
