can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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