I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
