I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
