matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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