I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
