wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
