I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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