You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
