I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
