i jhust puked up my retainher.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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