Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
