I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
