I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
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