If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize