I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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