Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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