oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
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Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
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I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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