He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
