i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Couch. On fire.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
