Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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