Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize