Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
