Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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