exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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