You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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