Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
