I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
