I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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