Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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