If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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