and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
