Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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