Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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