hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize
