Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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