I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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