No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
