Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
