Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
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