The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
