Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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