Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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