you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
