Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
