no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
