All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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