nut hugger
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
